About

I struggled with weight obsessions in my teens, ate far less than I should have, and back then I didn’t understand enough about nutrition to know that we can eat well and stay at a healthy weight.  As is often the case, my under eating evolved into binge eating, bulimia, compulsive overeating, eating distress, food addiction, an eating disorder – call it what you like; when I started eating certain foods, I couldn’t stop, and I couldn’t stop from getting started.

Among the many things I tried to regain some self control was the Ballymaloe Cookery Course, a degree in psychology and a diploma in Nutritional Therapy at ION. The ability to cook and an understanding of nutrition was helpful, but not enough to stop me from binge eating.  It was a lonely time, even though I was close to my family, and they did what they could for me, I always binged alone, purged alone, and felt alone.  My habits with food brought on a sense of shame, hopelessness, and loneliness that I thought I would never be free of.

Freedom came bit by bit, but a big turning point came when I treated food, sugar in particular, as an addictive substance.  I became a member of a 12 step fellowship for people with eating disorders, and surrendered to the idea that my ideas weren’t working where food and my weight was concerned.  This fellowship helped me to understand why I ate the way I did, and what preceded a relapse into a bout of overeating. It was a community that I felt part of, I was able to talk honestly, and I was accepted unconditionally. This was very healing.

My journey has been just that – a journey. There have been ups and downs along the way. It was never easy to let go of my old ideas and trust that everything would not fall apart if I let go of control.  I hung onto every old idea for as long as I had to, usually well beyond the point where it was clearly not working for me. Like us all, I always did my best, given my level of awareness at the time. This was enough to slowly turn my life around.  Huge freedom from food and weight obsessions started lasting for hours, days, weeks, then months.

Our stories are all different. What has worked for me, may look very different to what works for you.  Even though we all ultimately have to find our own way, I could not have recovered alone. My intention now is to be a companion to others who struggle as I once did, in the hope that they too find the freedom I have found.

Our relationship with food and weight is very individual. You may graze eat all day, perhaps you are “good” all week and things go to pot at the weekend, or perhaps you frequently binge eat. You may restrict or purge your food intake because you are terrified of putting on weight, or you may be tired of yo-yo dieting. You may be very overweight and at risk of diabetes or heart disease, and want help reaching a health body size. Or you may be like I was, and go out of your way to feed a craving for food that is beyond your ability to control. Regardless of how “normal” or “abnormal” you think you are, if you feel powerless over your food choices, and you are looking for change, give me a call and we can see if I can help.