Willpower is like a battery that needs to be charged regularly. Many things drain it throughout the day such as dealing with situations that we find stressful, making decisions, and self-restraint. So when we rely on willpower to keep us on track with our healthy eating plan, we are likely to fail.
Our willpower will have run out by 5 o’clock in the evening when we are tired and worn down by the day’s activities. This is the time we say ‘feck it’ to our best intentions to eat well and reach for whatever is most convenient and satisfying in the fridge.
This may sound crazy, but I believe that the less we rely on our own thinking and restraint the better chance we have of eating well long term. When I work with people I give them a plan of eating, which includes boundaries around what and when to eat. Even though people resist this at the start, they soon discover that there is huge freedom when they no longer have to make all the decisions around food. They no longer have to rely on their unsteady willpower because the decision has been made for them. They just need to surrender to the plan. They know that if they stick to the plan they will be free of the compulsion to overeat and they will stay at a healthy weight.
Everyone’s plan looks slightly different depending on their history with binge eating, lifestyle, age, activity level and, food preferences. Plans also change with time, as we understand ourselves and our relationship with food better.
We think we should have more discipline, we think we should have more self-restraint. I think that everyone does their absolute best to curb their natural desires to overindulge, but for many of us when it comes to food, discipline, self-restraint and willpower will never be enough. For me and the many people I have worked with it has been more about surrender than willpower.